tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4728532494108633757.post7445940115748171779..comments2023-11-03T06:05:46.836-07:00Comments on The Reeling: An Unexpected Mareventure: Thinking The Thinks, Part IIAndreahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15902291220984883182noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4728532494108633757.post-54286677544072315152014-04-18T18:50:46.038-07:002014-04-18T18:50:46.038-07:00Yes I can relate to this as well. I'm very ha...Yes I can relate to this as well. I'm very happy you recognize the signs and are finding the steps to take to get back on track before it gets as bad as before. That's a really good thing! Sadly I don't really have any suggestions other than the things already mentioned.<br /><br />I have battled depression for years (although not as bad as yours, suicidal thoughts never went any further than a passing thought for me) although not for the same reason (mine is a hormone imbalance), so I can definitely relate. Mine gets bad every winter and it sucks!! The only thing that brings me out of it is prettier weather and sunshine. Some of the things you said, like making excuses so you can be lazy, those are things I do too. Unfortunately since mine is worse in winter a lot of times I give in to those excuses and sit around doing nothing, which makes it worse. As soon as I start getting out and exercising in the spring I feel better. Also doing new things helps cheer me up (like when I went kayaking for the first time or when I got to meet Chrome's sire)... maybe it's the change of scenery. Obviously it's not always feasible but it's pretty much the only helpful suggestion I can offer. I hope you find your way out of this funk as soon as possible so you can go back to enjoying your beautiful girl. O is a special girl and you two will find where you belong soon I think. Hang in there!!<br /><br />P.S. I am also planning to try cognitive behavioral therapy as soon as I can find a therapist... mainly for my anxiety which is beyond out of control, but I think helping my anxiety will help my depression too since they feed off of each other. I know you mentioned therapy didn't work before, but I thought I would mention it anyway.Achieve1dreamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15401246064499148344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4728532494108633757.post-15432954678326493522014-04-17T22:09:12.784-07:002014-04-17T22:09:12.784-07:00I'm currently in a similar state of being. I ...I'm currently in a similar state of being. I find myself numb or crying most of the time. I feel overwhelmed by the thought of just making it through the day. I admitted today to the wonderful lady I groom for that I haven't ridden a horse (of which I have 4 currently... yikes!) since September. She said "That's the saddest thing I've heard all day" And darn it all, it IS the saddest thing.<br /><br />I'm depriving myself of something I love for the sake of making things easier for others. I don't want to be selfish and take time for myself. So, I just sit on my @$$ and mope...<br /><br />I've been trying to get myself out of it, but I'm seriously considering going to the Dr. soon and seeing about getting on something so I'm not constantly crying and being a wimp...<br /><br />While it's not exactly the same circumstances, I know, exactly, the feeling you have right now... hammerhorseshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07144749417680923288noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4728532494108633757.post-15811778367179536242014-04-17T19:28:20.787-07:002014-04-17T19:28:20.787-07:00Andrea, I don't really know you and I'm in...Andrea, I don't really know you and I'm in no position to give advice. But if I can tell anything from what you have written, I believe you are an amazingly determined and energetic person. I do not for one second believe that you are lazy - I have read too much about the gusto with which you set about things, and the thoughfulness and perseverance you show when reaching a decision. From what I know of you, I believe you are an amazing person, a force to reckoned with, a dynamo.<br /><br />I'll send you a message too (in case you want to read it), but I just wanted to say this here: you are not lazy. Please do not beat up on yourself.OneHindRestinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08497414168847697496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4728532494108633757.post-92203691014747327792014-04-17T12:38:17.777-07:002014-04-17T12:38:17.777-07:00Ugh, I'm so sorry that you're going throug...Ugh, I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I too recently lost my heart horse, after a long, heart-wrenching rehab attempt, and I've been struggling like crazy trying to figure out what to with myself ever since. I've been reduced to riding school horses again (seriously, school horses!) once a week in lessons because I can't seem to commit to even a partboard or lease situation. The major problem with me, too, is that I don't WANT to start over - it took years to build what I had with my horse - the trust, the experiences, the training - and it's so hard to start all over again. I've followed your blog a long time and I remember how hard you had to work for everything to come together with Gogo - though she was an amazing horse, she was never easy! - and in all honesty, I'm sure O would achieve great things if you give her the same chance. But it's sure a lot easier for me to sit around and give advice than it is for me to actually DO it (remember, I'm riding school horses here). I guess I would just say there are worse things than if you just enjoy O, doing whatever you feel like doing and not doing whatever you don't feel like doing. Maybe the goal with her can just be to heal and enjoy riding just for the sake of riding - and when you're ready, the goals and schedules and training and shows may just sneak back in to your life again.Katiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13793035520828459130noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4728532494108633757.post-68158823197096227232014-04-17T12:10:40.961-07:002014-04-17T12:10:40.961-07:00Hugs to you. I lost a heart horse three years ago ...Hugs to you. I lost a heart horse three years ago and it is a difficult thing to overcome, but you have to remember that Gogo was in your life to teach you about yourself... and now O is here to teach you more. Believe in that little firecracker mare. I think you two will get a lot farther than you ever thought possible - you just need to start healing first <3Cathrynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15652933884652697666noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4728532494108633757.post-44674946507848232002014-04-17T11:49:12.460-07:002014-04-17T11:49:12.460-07:00I think you are such an amazing horsewoman and per...I think you are such an amazing horsewoman and person and I'm sending you hugs and positive thoughts. Getting out of a mental funk is very hard. Brainstorming options for you to consider:<br />- medication (I'm very sensitive to medication changes, so see if anything you are on has a new manufacturer or something).<br />- therapy (friend therapy and horse therapy counts, but cognitive therapists and other professionals continually develop new methodologies/tools that might help).<br />- exercise (drop 2 of those 20 lbs and i bet you'll feel loads better).<br />- wine (in moderation, and don't make any horsey plans!) <br />- vacation (or a staycation. getting away from the normal routine for a few days sometimes helps).<br />- complete diet overhaul (I've learned that some foods really affect my mood)<br />- drink more water (I swear it helps).<br />Sorry, that's all I can come up with right now. I hope may one or 2 might speak to you. Wishing you to feel better.Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15925650148327532110noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4728532494108633757.post-53074018285287002612014-04-17T10:52:02.326-07:002014-04-17T10:52:02.326-07:00I don't know what to do either, and I am in a ...I don't know what to do either, and I am in a similar situation. I don't have any advice, but I like SheMovedToTexas's above. I think I will try that. <br /><br />You can do this! It will work out, probably not like you think it will (it never does), but in general, everything will be ok at some point! It might be work to get there, probably will.....but it'll be worth it! Beckyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04418461551352612607noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4728532494108633757.post-49195579059390875472014-04-17T10:35:32.074-07:002014-04-17T10:35:32.074-07:00Since we just bonded overknowing the same people i...Since we just bonded overknowing the same people in Instagram, reading this post on top of that makes me think again, this world is so small, there may be 7 billion people in the world but most of us can 100% relate to each other. I had the same spiral and listlessness growing up, not the same reasons as you and not the same time or age as you but it was there and it was hard and I didn't think I would make it and horses saved my life. And I grew up and went away and started to build and Carlos was a part of that, the Keystone. And then I lost the keystone, not the same reasons as you and I'm not nearly as far out from the experience as you but yeah. The muffled grey shawl of sadness and listlessness is familiar and yeah horses are nice but its just not the same. I guess the mortality of them, of this, of us just changes it all. L.Williamshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05052638724440787772noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4728532494108633757.post-49395908670879196532014-04-17T10:15:19.545-07:002014-04-17T10:15:19.545-07:00I understand this. My horse of 15 years died in 2...I understand this. My horse of 15 years died in 2008. Like Gogo, he was an amazing talented horse, and I put so much into my relationship with him. When I bought Eragon in 2010, I thought I could do all the things I wanted to do w/ Fancy but never got the chance. I thought I could train a horse better/smarter/etc...but in reality, I find myself constantly comparing Eragon to Fancy...which isn't fair. E is only 7. He's 1/2 TB, sensitive and stubborn. But he's also loving and tries his hardest when I give him the ride I know he needs...but its hard to give him that ride, because a part of me is still angry about my old horse's death. A part of me is distracted.<br /><br /> I feel that there is a parallel life where Fancy and I are still training together, where he's the horse I'm buying gear for and getting out of the field, the horse everyone oohed and ahhhed over because he was so special so beautiful so amazing.... <br /><br />I know Eragon is amazing, too, in his own way. He's beautiful, too. He's full of charisma and power. It's just hard to start again. No answers here, but I think that time helps, and it gets better very incrementally. I'm staring to have more days where its all about THIS horse THIS moment and who I want to be going forward. <br /><br />Maybe riding with a trainer/instructor would re-ignite your drive? Having a neutral third party who can see talent and opportunities you cant see would help, I think...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4728532494108633757.post-3916332750431033622014-04-17T10:13:29.497-07:002014-04-17T10:13:29.497-07:00Begin really small. Like, super duper small. Pic...Begin really small. Like, super duper small. Pick the SIMPLEST element of something challenging (like a great dressage test) and have a win. And celebrate that win. And enjoy that win. And pat yourself on the back.... and go from there! That's the only advice I have :)SheMovedtoTexashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01062200290148658096noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4728532494108633757.post-54638462763731366082014-04-17T07:35:59.450-07:002014-04-17T07:35:59.450-07:00I always feel like horses have a way to help us th...I always feel like horses have a way to help us through everything. Sending hugs and good thoughts! :)Jennhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00297192461648201907noreply@blogger.com