After my last "take that, winter!" post, I admit that I have lost all further steam and motivation to continue my screw-you-winter antics. There is only so much a girl can handle.
I really don't do winter well. The entire reason I bailed from beautiful New England and went to Texas was the fact that I just could NOT handle even ONE more second of freezing cold miserable winter, and I HAD to get away. Those of you that were around for the Great Sojourn to Texas (or maybe more like the Exodus to Texas) will remember the moment I cursed winter all to hell and said that I would never live in the snowy cold North ever again. The DAY before I was scheduled to leave Connecticut for the move to Texas, I crashed my rig on the side of the mountain:
It was 15 degrees and it took us 4 hours to get it off the mountainside. The next day, I bolted and never looked back.
Texas, for the most part, has really reasonable winters. Sure, we get a bad ice storm here and there, and once in awhile you'll have some ice on the trough... hell, it even snows once a year here. But the rest of the days are usually in the 60's and 70's with plentiful sunshine. Two winters ago, we even had bluebonnets in February, and we had GORGEOUS weather in the 70's with green green grass and tons of flowers all the way from January to May. It was the BEST WINTER EVER.
This winter? I don't have a clue what is going on. We've had our fair share of the polar vortexes, and have seen more ice and snow storms in this single winter combined than I've seen in all the rest of my winters here. Everything is miserable, grey, wet, and cold. It just SUCKS.
We are on day 8 now of chilly temps and totally grey, misty skies. I know that those of you up North are going, "psh that's nothing," but hey, I MOVED here because of the weather. I suffer from REALLY bad seasonal depression, which is 100% dependent on the sun, so when I don't see the sun for literally 8 days, I pretty much want to crawl into a hole and die. If I don't see the sun for even just a couple of days, I get really mopey. 8 days? I just want to die and I hate everything. I DON'T WANT TO BE IN THIS SUCKY WORLD ANYMORE IT SUCKS SO BAD LIFE IS POINTLESS AHHH. Which makes me a lot of fun to be around.
And it's not going to get better for several more days. Tomorrow? In the 20's-30's, with an ice-sleet mix. Awesome.
Luckily for both O and myself, our next endurance ride is NEXT SATURDAY! She really needs some let down time before the ride, so she's having this week off in order to come out fresh and raring to go on Saturday. Considering how hateful and grumpy I am right now, it's probably for the best that I don't get on anyway...! This week, she is getting time on the Theraplate every day and the rest of the time off. She is not particularly amused by this, as the Theraplate was moved to the other side of the barn and now feels 'cramped' and closed in. At least once every session, she goes rocketing backwards off of it for no particular reason, and she no longer will eat when she is standing on it (she won't eat when she is concerned/nervous/alert/worried). It doesn't help that Tre usually is panicking and screaming every time O is out of her sight, which upsets O further... mares.
The day before a show, I *can't* ride my horse, simply because I get my nerves all wrapped up and nit-pick and tick off my horse. I see people schooling in the ring, and I just *can't* get on, I don't want to change anything or tire my horse or risk anything.... I just get too freaked out. Not unlike that, on Friday I suddenly realized that my next ride was just one week away, and I shut everything down. Can't ride, can't do anything, can't risk anything, can't have a tired horse, can't have a fatigued horse, what if she steps on a rock, what if she is worn out, what if she then overdoes it at the ride, what if what if! Better to just give her the rest and get everything sorted and in order - I would rather have a strong and hot horse versus a horse that is going to be too fatigued. Fatigued horses get injured, and I'm not about to risk that.
I feel better prepared for this ride, but I still feel like I didn't do enough conditioning. Will I ever feel like I do enough conditioning?
More importantly, will the sun ever come back out so I stop feeling so horrible about life?