Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Goodbye Ti


Our return from our quickie getaway vacation was marked by the death of my old greyhound. There are fewer things that are sadder than returning home from a very nice getaway only to find that your old friend is dying. Ti was my first canine companion ever, adopted fresh off the Florida track as a three year-old, and has been a mainstay in my life ever since college. She has lived with me in four states and a dozen different homes, moved across the country more than once, gone on endless adventures with me, and has always, always been there. Kidney disease and cancer were her downfall in the end. We got home from vacation to find a note from the pet sitter saying that she hadn't eaten at all in two days, and she wasn't drinking either. She had a 105 degree fever and couldn't get up. We already knew about the kidney failure, and I had already made the decision to not put her through a lengthy treatment of any sort when we already knew that her kidneys were at least 85% shot already. Despite all we did, the infection returned a month and a half out from her diagnosis and last intensive treatment. When the vet looked her over, she also had a heart murmur, which likely meant the infection was going to seed in her heart as well. I don't believe in making feeble elderly dogs suffer through lengthy and pointless treatments when they already have a terminal illness. She died peacefully in our arms, like a lady - the great lady that she was.









It is hard to lose a friend that has been in your life for so many years. Ti has always been there... always. To have her suddenly just gone has been very difficult. Her beds, her bowl, her collar, her blankets... everything is still here, as it always has been, but she is gone. It just feels so empty without her constant presence. Just.... empty, and hollow, and sad. 

I take great solace in the fact that I have hundreds and hundreds of pictures of her, and memories as well. She has always been here ever since college, and so every photo album I go through has pictures of her in it, always there. They also returned her to us in a beautiful rosewood box, so she is still here with us. I've never lost one of my own pets (outside of childhood family pets), and never have been there for the death of one aside from the horses. It was peaceful and easy, and terribly sad. The finality of death is something I will never get used to. 




The hardest part of it all has been the fact that there is no way to explain to a cat that their beloved lifelong companion is now gone and isn't coming back. When I first got Ti, she had major separation issues in the house - tearing things up, messes, crying, stressing. My solution to this was to bring home a tiny fleabag throwaway kitten as her companion... the rest is history. I named her Snidget, and they were best friends from day one.




Ti and Snidget have been inseparable for years. I accumulated all of my other pets only after I moved to Texas, but these two were with me for my time in Ohio, Michigan, Connecticut, and Texas. After we came home from the vet without Ti, Snidge wandering around the house for hours, occasionally crying and looking for her dog. "Your hound is gone," I told her. "She's not coming back." But there is no way to make her understand. She sits by Ti's bed, stares at it, and cries.

She did at least get a chance to sniff the box of ashes. She went completely nuts at first, smelling and smelling... then she rubbed it all over with her cheek, and passed out sleeping. I hope she understands.



Rest in peace my old Dizzle.... we love you and miss you so much already.



31 comments:

  1. So sorry to hear it. She looks like such a lovely, self-possessed dog. My condolences to you, Snidget, and the rest.

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  2. So sorry to hear this. She sounds like a great dog and super companion.

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  3. so sorry for your loss. what a lovely life she led with you!

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  4. :( So sorry for the loss of your pretty girl

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  5. I'm so sorry, she looks like the greatest companion, the kitty and dog pictures brought up a well of tears.

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  6. So sorry to hear this. :( She was a beautiful dog. Love her eyes!

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  7. So sad for you and your family. Very hard to lose a long time friend. Sending hugs and a few tears too.

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  8. So sorry for your loss. I love the picture of the two of them snuggling together.

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  9. So sad. I am so sorry for your loss.

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  10. Sad and awful but the right thing to do. I hope Snidget adjusts soon. Xxoo

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  11. You always do the best for the creatures in your care!

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  12. Very sorry for you loss, she sounds like a really great dog. Hope Snidget finds peace and you can find comfort in your memories.

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  13. So incredibly sorry for your loss.

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  14. Sorry for your loss. It looks like she had a nice life.

    I am processing the hole left by my filly a week and a half ago. We had her a little over four years. You don't realize how much space they fill in your life until it is empty.

    I wish you peace at this time.

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  15. She looks like such a sweet dog. It's so hard when they go. I lost my Aussie 2 months ago, and I'm still crying every day. Not as much, but still miss him. Conversely, my cat is really happy now. He hated the puppy I brought home over 14 years ago, and never forgave me, until now. My condolences, I really do know how you feel.

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  16. Rest easy sweet, sweet lady.

    I love the shots of those big soulful eyes. Hugs to you and cuddles to Snidget.

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  17. So sorry to hear this, sending LOTS of hugs :(

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  18. Words just never seem to be enough. 'I'm sorry for your loss' just feels wrong when you're left with your heart torn open.
    Take comfort in the fact that Ti, as all of your animals do, led the best life with the best care and love from someone I admire as a fellow dog/cat/horse owner, and have learned tons from over the years.
    From the former owner of an ex-racer, thank you for rescuing Ti and giving her the love & care that you did. They all deserve it, but sadly not all of them get the great life that she had.
    I'm so sorry. My heart breaks with yours. [I had the tears just welled up in my eyes until the 3rd one down of her beautiful eyes, and then the one of her nose to nose with Snidget]

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  19. I am so sorry. She was such a beautiful girl. Hugs to you and yours.

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  20. I am so so sorry. I was holding strong until you wrote about Snidge.

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  21. So sorry for the loss of your friend. :( The greys (of all sizes) have a special place in my heart too. Such wonderful dogs. I've had three and will continue to have them until the day I die. (((hugs))) to you all.

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  22. Losing a beloved pet like Ti is such a blow to the heart. It's the hardest part of loving our four-legged kids. Take solace in all the happy memories that you have of her. ♥

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  23. :( So very very sorry for your loss Andrea - she was a beautiful girl.

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  24. What a beautiful dog, I am so sorry to read this. Hugs!

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  25. You were lucky to have her in your life and she was lucky to have you. What a gorgeous girl...she just *looks* soulful. I think if Snidget was with Ti near the end then she probably knows and is doing her own grieving. When my last dog, coincidentally named Tia, was dying, my cat Tonka started sleeping next to her and wouldn't leave her side. They were friends before that but not like that. The cat sleeping next to her all the time was a major cue for me that she wasn't going to get better. I think they know before we do.

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  26. Breaking my heart. Especially the part about Snidget. I think that is the hardest we can't explain to animals that their friends are gone, either animal or human.

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  27. I'm so, so sorry. This breaks my heart. I lost my almost thirteen year old Siberian Husky that I had since she was a puppy earlier this year to kidney failure so I feel your pain. The part about Snidget is just awful! As sad as it was when my other dog didn't seem to notice or care when Storm disappeared it must be even more heartbreaking to witness one mourn like your sweet cat. :(

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