Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Explanations and Other Things


Blogging is a wonderful, magical, excellent, and sometimes completely miserably terrible thing to do with one's time. It's very akin to having your own cheering squad and your own execution firing squad all at the same time. I learned long ago when blogging about Gogo that there just are some things you *don't* talk about when blogging. I, for one, will never open my mouth about OTTBs again - I was so thoroughly berated for my views on them that I decided the topic was 100% taboo.  Another topic is breeding. Inevitably, when you talk about breeding, you will get scores of people who are all too happy to tell you what a piece of crap your mare/stallion are, what an irresponsible choice you are making, and what a terrible person you are. Likewise, I also just found out that if you take the resulting baby following such a breeding, and you consider changing your mind and listing it for sale, you will get attacked by that same faction of people.

I did list Pax for sale, tentatively. She has two ads up, neither of which are paid for ads, neither of which are aggressively marketed ads, and neither of which have gotten a single hit. I don't know if I want to sell her, really, but maybe I do. I will explain all my reasons in a minute, but I will also explain what happened when the word got out that I had put her up.

It started out as a well-meaning comment. Someone was curious to know if I had listed her myself or if someone else had stolen her information and listed her without my permission, because they had found the ad and didn't think I had planned on selling her. Unfortunately what happened when people saw that comment was a huge email explosion - people left and right flooding my inbox, telling me I was irresponsible, that I didn't care about my horses, that I was a greedy money-loving hog who was just here to make a buck, that I was a trashy backyard breeder, that my horses were garbage that nobody sane would buy, that I should be ashamed of myself. I'm sorry if I got defensive about it - I was really taken aback, and hurt too. It's literally exactly the same responses (and the same people) as I had berated me before for wanting to breed Gogo back in the day - they are the reason I didn't blog about planning to breed P, and why I probably won't blog much about planning to breed anything in the future if I decide to do so. I know that their from-behind-a-computer-screen opinion doesn't actually affect me in the real world, because they're not the ones here making these decisions, but still. I'm kind of a softie and I don't like getting jumped on for something I had no intention of talking about in the first place.



And yes, I am considering selling Pax, maybe. Did I originally intend to keep her? Of course. Am I still probably going to keep her? Of course. I'm not actively marketing her, and I'm not looking to get rid of her by any means. But, if the right person comes along and says they want her, I will agree to that. Here's why:

I bred her specifically because I wanted a fancy, flashy moving, upright-built dressage-type baby. That's always what I had in mind for her. I spent two years picking a stallion that I thought would stamp her well enough to deliver that. And I did get a beautiful, well put together baby.... who moves like the flattest kneed hunter you ever saw. She screams hunter. I am hoping she gets a bit freer in her shoulder as she gets older, but she may not. As such, perhaps her talents are in that field, and that is not something I am interested in. My hopes if I keep her are to still pair her with O so I can use them as a team together, but she will have to match O's size and movement if that is the case. 

I also may breed P once or twice more before she is fully retired. Dylan is actually the stallion I was going to breed her to before I picked DDM, because I thought he would improve her movement the most - now I have breeding rights on him should I choose to use them. I also am still very strongly considering breeding her to Lasting Impression, who is Gogo's full brother. He is still sound and going in his 20's, and was a GP horse. THAT baby would be the keeper. Absolutely no doubt in my mind. 

I don't take bringing new lives into this world lightly, so I gave P this year off for sure to just rest and work on feeding Pax, while I consider all my options. I'm not here to breed crap and garbage and I'm not here to make money from this. I want to weigh all my options carefully. I want to produce only nice, sound, sane things that can go on to good lengthy careers, either with myself or someone else who loves them just as much as I do. That's all I'm trying to do here. 


So, yeah. Basically that's the story. Please stop sending me emails telling me that I need to kill myself because of what a crappy person I am. 


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Anyway. Back to what we've been up to. 

I set up a schedule for Dylan's October workouts - it's nothing insane at this point, it's mostly just for my benefit so I can strengthen up and be a good solid rider for him. I renewed my membership to WD and plan on trailering him over there 2x a week. I also will hack him here at home 2x a week. Every ride I get a little stronger and it feels so good. My bad ankle/calf is holding up well and my hips are fine. I don't think I will ever regain full flexibility of that leg though... I can't force it to happen any more because there is just a limited length that it stretches. I'll keep working at it, and working at it. But I may have to accept that I might not be able to ever cram it into short stirrups again.

Dylan lunged last Thursday, went for a hack last Friday, trailered to WD on Saturday, and then had his teeth done on Sunday (and had yesterday off because of that). He went out totally alone for his hack - this was a first, and I wasn't sure how it would go. I was prepared for him to be a noodle head, seeing as he was a noodle head the last time B and I rode them out through the neighborhood, but actually he was wonderful. He gets his giant washing-machine walk going, where you feel a bit like your stomach is going to be sloshed right out of your body, but I think complaining about a forward walk is just not something you should ever do. I rode him in the LG too, which is going to be great for trail rides. 


Wild Stallion of the North

I'm also *hoping* I can grow more mane on him than this. It's a bit pathetic! If I'm going to have a hairy horse, then damnit he better be a HAIRY horse.



On Saturday, we went to WD for the first time. I don't have any pictures of that unfortunately, seeing as there were a bunch of people XC schooling and I had a very hot and screaming stallion to deal with. I think this is just kind of the way he is - the first time he goes out somewhere, he has to be all manly and screamy and prancy, and then once he has been there he chills out. He yelled and screamed for all he was worth, but aside from a few dancing prances he was otherwise really very well behaved. He stood tied at the trailer (mostly still), rode quietly (and very well!), and then stood to be hosed off at the end. Every ride gets a little bit better with him - I think I am just sitting straighter and stronger. We weren't doing anything fancy by any means, but had some nice trotwork, a few good mediums, and some flying changes tossed in here and there. When he gets bothered or confused, he gets a sideways piaffe thing going, and he has almost none of that going on that day. Although he did get really hot and bothered by the mirror and tried to inch over there every time we passed it..... ah well.

Sunday the dentist came. She is the one who did P and O last year, and I was really happy with her work. She flies in from up north a few times a year to do the rounds in Texas, so we made sure to get on her list. Both P and O had minor work done - compared to P's MAJOR work done last year. O was a little bit crooked and off, which didn't surprise me - she bends super well one way but not the other. Dylan's incisors were WAY super long, which was taking his molars out of occlusion and giving him very limited lateral movement in his jaw. I figured this would be what we would find, and it was. 

Checking those long snaggletoofs


Following this, O, who is hyperemotional at best, decided that something changed in her life, so she was going to die. I actually posted this status on Facebook the following morning:

"Sorry to my entire neighborhood who had to listen to the operetta happening at my house all night... O is too hyperemotional to eat after she gets worked on in any way (this time, teeth), so all night she kept wandering away up the hill looking for wolves to pick her off because she is convinced she is dying. Which sets Dylan into a total galloping screaming frenzy because she is the only mare he could ever love on this whole planet and she must be convinced of his love so she will come back and not kill herself. 
I know I for one *loved* listening to that all night long..."


When I went out to feed them that morning, O was lying flat out next to Pax, rolling her eyes up at me in despair, playing a Sarah McLachlan album, asking me to read her will and testament. She was *sure* that she was going to die.

Luckily, the second the haybags got filled, she jumped to her feed and started gobbling, all traumas of the previous night forgotten. Mares....






33 comments:

  1. I can't believe you'd get flax for listing Pax. That's crazy to me. Too bad she's not a boy or I'd consider a little flat kneed baby for myself ;)

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  2. omg the visual of O laying there listening to Sarah McLachlan.... hilarious lol! also how disappointing that so many people still don't understand how wildly inappropriate it is to lash out at others (despite not having context or the full story or... anything at all, really) for making decisions or leading their lives the way they see fit. you've never given your horses anything less than your best - and i can't see how any decisions you make for Pax would be any different.

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  3. F the haters, lol... your horse, your choice. If she's not what you really wanted, then so be it. I'd rather see someone who wants to breed thoughtfully and carefully on a small scale than any other breeding program! She's a beautiful, well put together, nice horse. If she's not for you someone else will be ecstatic to purchase her.

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  4. Hell, if I had the money, time, and space, *I'D* love her when she's older. (So not gonna happen, sadly.) I'm very sorry for the problems my comment caused you. Next time I'll keep it to email only. I hope you'll forgive me.

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  5. WOW. I have no words. Ok, maybe I have just a few...let me take a deep breath....It is your horse and your perogative to do what you like with her whether it's keep her or sell her. GOOD FOR YOU for breeding a beautiful, well put together horse, that's an incredible thing! Good for you for recognizing the possibility that what you want to do and what she is built to do *might* not be complementary instead of shoving her into a career where you both struggle to make it work for years on end making yourselves miserable like so many other horse people do. You took immaculate care of your P mare while she was preggers, so you did right by her too. Give me a break people. I am 100% against willy nilly backyard breeding too, but that's NOT what you did Andrea.

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    1. This covered everything I wanted to say far more eloquently than I was going to say it.

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    2. This pretty much says what I was going to say. As my dogs breeder said (yep, I purchased a pure bred, papered dog, so I'm just as evil and horrible as you are :) )
      You take the best parents you can find, and put them together and hope like hell that what comes out matches what you want. It looks like you got a really nice baby, however if she isn't the movement you want, you are just going to make each other miserable trying to make her do what she isn't really built to do.
      The thing is you're smart, you've worked around horses for a fair while, you're not just letting Pax sit, you've started her education so that she is going to be easy for her possible next person to continue to educate.

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  6. I think that you know exactly what you want in a horse is an admirable thing. I also think Pax is adorbs and moves nice, but that is about the limit of my understanding of what you want to do. Good luck with whatever your decision is and I look forward to your next baby.

    And anyone else who thinks they have the right to vocalize their thoughts, needs to get a life. I figure its like raising a child. Everyone has an opinion.

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  7. Wow, how WILDLY inappropriate for people to call you out for listing Pax for sale! I think you're a thoughtful, careful horse owner who spent a lot of time contemplating your breeding choice and want the best for all of your horses.

    I legit laughed out loud at the thought of O laying down in despair.

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  8. There are definitely things not to blog about. Haha. I even like and have OTTBs, and the moment I dare to suggest that they're not for everyone, the entire equine corner of the internet jumps down my throat.

    Best of luck with Pax, whatever you decide.

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  9. Horse people are nuts, lol.

    I am sorry that people feel the need to shove their thoughts and ideas down your throat - that isn't cool at all.

    I am a bit surprised you decided to list Pax, but I can't say that I've ever really seen any media of her moving out to really even assess if she'd be a good, competitive Dressage horse. With that being said, she is your horse and you need to have an idea of what you want.

    If she isn't what you want and what you need, you have to make a staple decision instead of trying to force her into something she isn't going to like.

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  10. Your horse; your decision. People on the internet need to mind their own business.

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  11. That's too bad that people trash you for breeding and then possibly selling. They need to get a life. Pax is a NICE baby, and I used to work on a large breeding farm where I saw 52 babies born a YEAR. I know a nice foal when I see one. Hell, if I had money to afford two I would probably make you an offer! :) We need more people breeding nice young horses - putting the thought and consideration into the breeding such as you have. That's NOT backyard breeding. Anyway, I support you and am a little jealous that you have Dylan. What a man!

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  12. There are people in the world who don't want anyone to own horses or dogs etc..I think most of them never owned a horse and they're the ones who will go after you for breeding or selling. I used to read a blog that advocates for mustangs, but those people took over and there's no more intelligent conversation.

    I think you're right to leave your options open. Pax may be someone's dream horse and if you find that person it would be only right to sell.

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  13. People are dicks. That's about all to say about that. Can you block these people in any way? Obviously they are way to interested in your life to be sane. I mean, don't they have problems of their own to focus on? Srsly.

    Personally, I hope you do talk about the breeding process. I don't know much about selecting a stallion, or how/if you can tell what is likely to be improved or get passed on. It's a big mystery to me. (Which is why I won't breed, personally. Plus I dislike babies. Even horse babies. Babies are always dicks.) I find the whole process to fascinating.

    I've seen a lot of REALLY nice friesian/dutch crosses in my day, and wonder what a Dylan/P baby would be like. Are there any Dylan babies running around to compare?

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    1. I hope you continue to talk about the breeding process too. I am hoping to breed Jetta in the near future and I want to hear all about the process from other people. Your experience makes me a little nervous to post about the process on my blog should I decide to go forward with breeding!

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  14. I will never, NEVER understand the "You can't ever breed anything!" mentality some people have. When I was at the pet store, I had a woman all pissed off that someone was breeding border collies (she'd seen an ad on the back of a vehicle). That someone was my boss, and he breeds amazing, talented, well-put together dogs. He also lives more than an hour from the store (way the hell out past my mom, and it's 45 minutes from her house), out in the county, and on a large piece of land.

    I asked her, since she was a cat person, had she ever considered a specific breed of cat? And yes, she had (one of those snub-nosed breeds, iirc). So I gently helped her see that if no one responsible breeds, then breeds are lost. When breeds are lost, someone is losing out, either on a working pet or a companion. She seemed to get it after that.

    I love responsible breeders. We need more of them. You are responsible. And nothing wrong with selling Pax. I admit, I was a little shocked when I saw mention of it as a possibility, but then I realized that she's not my horse, so it's not my decision. I think more people need to learn that. >__>

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  15. *cue music* Ooh child, things are gonna get easier...

    As someone who constantly gets flak for wanting well bred animals suited to the job they will perform (how dare I not consider a random shelter dog with unknow history to be my service dog? For shame wanting a puppy I know the history of and can temperament test!) I feel some of your pain.

    Keep on blogging. Sell Pax, keep her, do whatever works best for her - I have no doubt you have her best interests in mind. She's far from being trailer trash garbage.

    I for one would LOVE to see a Dylan/P foal!

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  16. *cue music* Ooh child, things are gonna get easier...

    As someone who constantly gets flak for wanting well bred animals suited to the job they will perform (how dare I not consider a random shelter dog with unknow history to be my service dog? For shame wanting a puppy I know the history of and can temperament test!) I feel some of your pain.

    Keep on blogging. Sell Pax, keep her, do whatever works best for her - I have no doubt you have her best interests in mind. She's far from being trailer trash garbage.

    I for one would LOVE to see a Dylan/P foal!

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  17. While Pax might not have the action you were hoping for, she is VERY nice. I think from what we've seen on the blog, P is pretty darn nice herself. Hopefully you'll get what you want, bloodline and action wise... :)

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  18. If no one sold well bred horses then how would we get the horses we have? I'm supremely grateful to the breeders who sold their babies to me. But people are (mostly) idiots.

    Poor O. Tell her to try some Adele- that may help her....

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  19. As someone who has sold the "keepers" and babies, it ultimately a personal decision what you decide to do with YOUR program. When you breed, you naturally cull out the ones who aren't going to advance your ambitions. Otherwise you end up collecting.

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  20. I do wonder if the same assholes who terrorize you about breeding and or selling YOUR horses contact every website selling horses and all horse ads and owners to berate them for selling their horse or horse they have bred? I'll bet not. They just want to be twats. I for one enjoy your posts about breeding. Also you have given Pax an excellent start at life as a productive and WANTED horse through your careful stallion selection, going to approvals, early adept handling.
    Speaking of back yard breeders. We bought a farm this spring and were in the midst of relocating a farm to a new state, barn and shed under construction, etc. and the only place hidden from the road was the backyard. I had to cover a mare there and laughed the whole time. My husband who handles the mares for me thought I had lost my shit.

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  21. What the crap? I can't believe what I just read. I don't know where people get the idea that they can tell other people what to do with their lives. What hurtful things to say. I'm throwing virtual rocks at them and stubbing all of their toes. You keep doing you.

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  22. I did read the original comment from Person XYZ (not naming names), so this post doesn't surprise me in the least. Here's how I look at it: if you want to sell Pax, sell Pax. If you want to keep her, keep her. If you want to train her to make you coffee in the morning, then do that. She's YOUR horse, do whatever you want with her. You didn't breed P just for the hell of it, choosing to breed her was a well-thought-out decision, and you should do what Pax whatever you wish.

    There are absolutely things that I consciously choose NOT to blog about, because I just don't want the wrath of the opinionated internet jumping down my throat, as it seems to have happened with you. People need to chill the eff out, get off their pedestals and mind their own damn biz.

    But if you can figure out the coffee-making thing, please let me know. That shit would come in handy.

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  23. When people like you, (i.e sensible, rational, intelligent and well informed people) don't blog about these things then the idiots win.

    Idiots win the conversation by yelling the loudest, being the most abusive, and shutting down the debate with their vociferous and bullshit opinions.

    Please don't let the idiots win.




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  24. Also... have you considered the possibility that P isn't ever going to be able to breed something with super flashy movement..

    But that you have a hyper emotional, super hormonal critter who loves babies and has awesome movement... but requires a temperament adjustment that you could just as easily breed from?

    -----------------------> Nice calm stallion sale this way

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  25. Sorry people jumped on you. That's so not cool. I have much respect that you are trying to find the right future for Pax and not just trying to make her into what you want her to be, whether she is or not. I think that's awesome and the best thing for her; whether that means selling her or not. :)

    bonita of A Riding Habit

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  26. Re the breeding thing. I have a hard time seeing the difference you are doing by breeding what you think will make a good horse for you, and what I'm doing which is buying a very young horse with the hopes that she will work out and do what I want her to be and do. Neither are guarantees. You are breeding, I'm supporting a breeder. Neither of us is supporting backyard, unplanned or poorly planned breedings. Sometimes what we want is simply not on the market and horses being more then just pets but working parts of our lives come with certain requirements (at least in my herd). Whether I bought them young or older, not every horse deserves a forever home with me either (which seems to be a theme among people completely anti breeding) and yes, even MerryLegs will be for sale to the right home if she doesn't quite end up being what I hoped. I personally don't care for actually breeding my own horses - I watch friends and family do it and so rarely do they end up with what they want, and most of the time what I'm looking for I can find for a reasonable cost already bred. But if Farley hadn't come from an established breeding program and I didn't have access to her (relatively) rare lines for my next endurance horse, would I have bred her? Quite possibly.

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  27. I hope my comment didn't come across as rude... I was just really surprised. I didn't mean anything by it at all!! You did not breed crap. Pax is gorgeous and is going to be a great horse. The problem with breeding is you don't always get what you were hoping for... Her movement may improve but if it doesn't there is nothing wrong with selling her into a loving home. Horses are sold everyday and you are not a backyard breeder. Backyard breeders do not spend two years doing research to make a decision. Backyard breeders don't take the babies for approval. Don't let people make you feel that way. I know it's hard because I'm sensitive too but you have a lot of supporters too. I would love to see a Dylan baby from P. He would definitely stamp his movement on the baby!! Also breeding to Gogo's full brother would be so cool!! I don't know anything about him so that's obviously a sentimental statement but Gogo was amazing so I'm sure he is too. Do what you want to do with your life and ignore all the haters. Life is short and its not worth your time and energy to let them get to you. I'm on your side at least. :-)

    Also before I forget I want to say Pax could very well be someone else's dream horse. Chrome was bred for sentimental reasons by a lady who had every intention of keeping him, but she was injured and lost her job so she had to sell him. If she hadn't bred him because of the haters who think anyone who breeds for their own personal horse is a backyard breeder then I wouldn't have my dream horse. So that's my stand on the whole thing. Pax if going to make someone very happy, whether is you or someone else.

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    1. I finished the post. :) I'm glad Dylan is doing so well and that you are having fun with him. I've always wondered why some dentist don't do anything to the incisors... I'm glad you have a good one!!

      The part about O, Sarah McLaughlin and her will had me laughing out well. She's such a drama queen hehe.

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